I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
