A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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