i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
