new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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