I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
