Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
