Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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