We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She bit a glass in half.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
