she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
