ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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