That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
