No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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