dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm bleeding and have questions
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
