Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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