you would pick up someone in the library
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just high enough for therapy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
