Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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