just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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