Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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