He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
