We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
