the condom got lost in my hair
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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