Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
two words...techno handjob
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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