Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My vagina is officially offended.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
