It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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