I faked an abortion last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
