PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
