So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I could make wine with my vomit
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
