These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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