Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
