I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
