Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
