i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
