I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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