the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
