are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
