Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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