Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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