Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
