Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
