So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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