i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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