Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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