white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
