What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
