i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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