Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
