the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
