i may or may not be watching the land before time
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So much rum. So many feels.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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