u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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