we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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