dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
