I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
