nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
