He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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