Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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