Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
