you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
