doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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