they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
