Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
