i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
