Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
