She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
