ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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