JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everything about him screamed your future.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
